Mark just took off on his mission recently. I miss him. Josh will be leaving for his next month and if everything goes as planned I’ll be gone by May.
Last night I was thinking about Mark and serving a mission and I found myself exactly in the same situation I was in two years ago when I said goodbye to Ben. This caused me to break out some old journal entries from that point in time. While reading I came across a journal entry that perfectly describes how I am feeling at this point in time as well. Funny, here I am two years later and not much has changed.
January 4th, 2003: “Life is so wonderful– so precious. I read a quote a couple of days ago and I havn’t been able to stop thinking about it from the moment I saw it. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” It’s so-so beautiful. We are on this earth with one objective, to return to live with God.
Life is too short, and we do not have time to stumble aimlessly in the middle when we are already at war. If we are not doing the things that will bring us closer to the Lord then what we are doing is taking ourselves away. We do not have any middle ground. We need to choose our side, and do it now. Live life to it’s fullest, but do it in such a way that is in accordance with the Lord’s will. We do not have time to settle for anything less.
What if my life was taken from me tomorrow? Would I be ready? How much control do I really have of my very own life? Can I guarantee you that I will see you again sometime? Would I be worthy? These are all questions I have been asking myself recently.
This evening Ben and I drove to Park City. As we were entering Park City on the side of the road somebody dropped their pants and proceeded to make very obscene gestures. It’s a good thing that it was too dark and we were driving too fast to see anything but silhouettes, but what we did see shocked and disturbed the both of us. How could one become so lost? The world is so lost and it makes me so sad to see these people throwing their lives away. It’s a terrible thing to live in fear and corruption. Get busy living, or get busy dying, that is for sure.
Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and with it, no good thing ever dies. I hope one day I will make a great missionairy as I know Ben will so I’ll be able to teach people the plan and bring them the happiness I feel. I hope I can live up to the covenents and always live in such a way that would be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. I hope I can return to Christ and hug and kiss him thanking him for shedding his very own blood for mine. I hope someday I can enter into the His kingdom with a family of my own. The thought of all these things makes me so excited I can hardly sit still or hold a thought in my head, I think it’s the excitement only a man can feel at the start of a long journey whos conclusion is uncertain… I hope…”
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